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xIt Never Rainsx [userpic]

planetary

May 5th, 2009 (08:02 pm)

OK so half of the people I know have found their place on earth. Is everything so sorted out for everyone or are they all playing cool? Am i the only one who's still haven't figured it all out?

Yeah every morning I wake up I kinda feel there is another life here waiting for me, or actually it's me waiting for it. Like the characters in an andrei tarkovsky film. And yeah, the main issue is to make it to that life, make it while I'm still young and strong. I'll have to turn my world upside down, leave things and situations (my current job per say), I'll have to go all out and risk every little bit of so called security!

My god, the radio is playing the 4nonblondes..!

Right now I'll go home and take it easy, I've done enough for the day, earned my daily bread and whatever.. So yeah I'll rent a film out, something old and Japanese probably :), and just chill. I spent the weekend & bank holiday away at E's birthplace, and it was cool, even if I felt lost inside during some parts of the trip. We pretty much turned the town upside down with all crazy and incoherent behavior. So it was cool. M did some surfing, F took the pix and I was the link between all these people and E (who apart from being a stand up gf also housed & fed us). I like it when it works out like that. Even if I don't have a particular role in the groups I hang out, I'm still there and people seem to laugh w/ my jokes and stuff so that's cool. That's cool!

So yeah, I guess life is good but also I look out for sth more, not just be happy with what I got and sit there forever. I do appreciate all that nature and god has given me, I connect and feel thankful but I still feel like the full potential is yet to come.

xIt Never Rainsx [userpic]

random stuff in an ordinary day

September 17th, 2008 (10:51 pm)

Sometimes I wish I could have the time to write a little more often. All these things happen in my life, I go through all these feelings (good and bad) and like, sometimes I feel the need to capture the moment. But the way it happens is I'm usually out doing something else and when I come home I'm always tired or forget about it. Time... such a weird thing. Insignificant, because good things can happen in such short time span, and then again everyhting is explained and understood in terms of how long. Oh, I'm not in the mood for that stuff...

So I'm in my folks' place, I am just drinking water, mom's baking bread and it smells delicious, dad's watching football on TV and kinda falling asleep (well, it is 23:36 so it's not bad or sad or anything). It's so rare that I spend time w/ my folks these days, even now I'm on the computer and stuff. But I think sometimes even if you just sit there it's still keeping each other company.

Today I read a leaflet about volunteering at a place for underprivileged kids. Like, kids who are bullied @ school, and stuff, so sorry for them. Never had that kind of stuff really happen to me, but I do feel for them. Also I realize that adults and kids experience the same exactly problems, like insecurity, low self-esteem, jealousy, anger, etc etc. For sure kids need help to deal w/ that stuff so that they can grow into healthy minded individuals, so they can be able to lead happy lives etc. And after these crappy times I've kind of been having myself lately, I feel it would be a good change to try and give sth instead of just chasing the perfect situation for me 24-7.

I did have a nice time w/ Kostas last night though. He called me right after I finished work and invited me to go out for a couple of drinks, @ this bar which is a classic and close to home. It's also on the way back from work, so I didn't even bother coming home, I just went there straight. It was nice. We kind of know the manager so he sat with us and bought us a drink and we talked about bar stuff and running the place and all that. After a while he left so me and Kostas just relaxed and blended w/ the crowd and talked and laughed etc. Still had an early night though, which was cool. So I woke up today and did my new morining routine, which is to go out at the garden and do some stretching exercises and take some deep breaths. I stole that from a friend of mine, Vicky.. And then I go back inside and make tea and read yesterdays paper... That's good stuff, everyday stuff...

xIt Never Rainsx [userpic]

Case of the Mondays

September 8th, 2008 (10:15 pm)

I am sitting at an Internet cafe and I am about to print out some CVs and cover letters for the new jobs I am applying for. It's crazy, I should be at home resting after my 12-hour shift but what can I do, I've gotta look out for my future before it's too late, and it's clear now that no-one else will help me, but me. And then I think about how all the so-called teachers in my life and other influential people (incl. my parents), always told me to do stuff this way not that way, and for some dumb reason I kind of always listened, even when I did the opposite thing out of reaction. Yeah, so now I am taking back my own time and well, I don't know for sure where this path will take me but at least it will be my own path, of listening to myself. This is not sth that just dawned on me today, obviously. I have been working on this for some time now, and I just know I've gotta do what I want with my own life, not what others expect me to. Do I sound like a teenager? I probably do. But to finish this letter to myself I wanted to write down an idea I had today, that a religious life to me means to discover and connect with the person one is deep inside, and live that life to the maximum extent, in its most sincere form. That's like paying God back for all the potential he put in you... And to reciprocate w/ the big fella out there (whatever "he" might be) must be as good as it gets.

So it was a bit of a boring day today at the office... not much fun, no laughs, no incoming calls, well, just Vicky who called and she's sorted out a music article, which we'll write together for an extreme sports magazine I think. This is pretty cool, but I also think about how when I was younger I was always dreaming about things I now have, like playing in a band and writing articles for fanzines etc etc, but then again nowadays I find out that happiness doesn't necessarily come from these things but more from within, and from the little things in life, like everyday relationships... I wont get into that too much right now tho,,,

I'm gonna go now, this place is smoky and smells and is really really loud so there's no reason why I  shouldn't be at home. I'm just gonna print my job stuff and go have dinner and watch some TV just like another 1,ooo,ooo,ooo other people are doing tonight.

How wonderful!

xIt Never Rainsx [userpic]

(no subject)

September 3rd, 2008 (08:16 pm)

I am back home now, and things slowly start to get back into normal. I don't know if normal is good, I used to think it's not and always had the urge to go all out and hit big highs and lows, but look at where it got me. It''s strange though, b/c amidst all this crazy pace and uncertainty, I kind of feel strong, like through it all i got myself to count on and right now that's enough. People who know me well, like friends and some people at work can tell sth's wrong, that i'm like a wounded animal right now, maybe it's pathetic to say it but that's how i feel so i'll admit it. Nothing else I can do than accept the given situation, b/c i know that's the only way to learn and grow from it, and most importantly come out unharmed. Did I say 'grow'? I'm not even sure if I care about that right now.

Yeah so some people talk about 40-hour weeks, these days i work a 60-hour one. It's not easy, but it's good to see my limits and obviously it's good for the money. I get on the subway and just go to work and put my best to it, that's all. My boss seems to really appreciate it but honestly, i don't do it for him. I do it for myself, cliched as it is i pride myself in simply being a hard-working man.  And after all, it's the best and most straight way to help me forget about all type of emotional turbulences.... Speaking of the subway, man!, this place is a microcosm of its own, like you see a miniature society in there, cause everybody gets on the freakin subway! It's funny the looks I get sometimes, cause I always look and actually am either totally amused or totally baffled w/ what's happening in my life,...don't think I'm ever  blank. It's also really really strange when sometimes, maybe I make eyes w/ girls and stuff, and there is a 3rd person looking at the whole situation... like, weird!? Anyways, SNFU have a song called "Reality's a Ride on the Bus", I'll say the same but for the subway!

Gee, I'm a bit tired. I'm gonna go now, go home, get changed, and then get back out again. I stayed in last night and the night before that, so I think it's okay to go and visit some friends for a drink and a laid back chat. And tomorrow... well tomorrow will be another day I guess...

Can I please get one more?

xIt Never Rainsx [userpic]

sayonara sucker

August 31st, 2008 (01:18 pm)

Today the carefree style that I like to live my life by is coming back strong I think. I'm drinking a pepsi and eating  cold pizza w/ popcorn--a perfectly healthy lunch! When I'm working at the hotel, this is the kind of food I get. I've been away from home for so many periods in my life, I think it's got something to do w/ my karma, like the boy will not plant roots nowhere ever... Since I've finished highschool it's more or less been like that. I don't think I care anymore!, so later on this year I might be moving away again, in order to work for a big 5-star hotel in some remote location. Is it running away? Is it the quest for new adventures? I don't know for sure. All I know is I gotta move on.

But I won't keep the bad memories from this place, just the good ones. I don't wanna be angry w/ the stuff that's happened to me, I just wanna look back and laugh, and take the good w/ the bad. Tomorrow I will go back to Athens, it'll be a hard week at the office I've been told, like working from 9am till 9pm. Life hasn't been easy for me, but I kept a positive mind and I think things will change very very soon. It's actually something I strongly feel, not just think; Good things are on the way.

So I'll happily hop on the train and go to my other job tomorrow, and think about how me and a few other million people get up in the morning and go to work and some take it easy, some don't but we are all on the same boat  so there's really no need to be mean and grumpy. When dark clouds block my vision I find that it helps to turn around and look at my fellow man for inspiration.

I've got a funky feeling and I'm taking it with me. I wrote a -what I think is a- great song today, I can wait to show it to the band, dress it up w/ lyrics, give it a twist and see it come to life. Also today I feel really grateful to God, thinking how "he" provides and I feel safe, like let it all be, I surrender and feel protected, let him choose. . . As for my feelings about B, I'll just have to move ahead, I learned something out of nothing and even though I'm right back where I started from I don't feel sad or angry, albeit a bit dissapointed. Lessons learned...

*I'm gunning down romance*

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